Saturday, January 18, 2014

Power Rankings: MLB Mascots

After the introduction of Clark the Cub, we thought it would be appropriate to rank the best mascots in the MLB. Since they are mascots, there is no real formula to determine which mascot is the "best," so these rankings will be solely based on the eye test. Which mascot is your favorite? Make sure to leave a comment!

27. Swinging Friar (San Diego)- A lack of notoriety really hurts the "Swinging Friar's" case. Wait, what even is a swinging friar?

26. DJ Kitty (Tampa)- Why Tampa Bay decided to make their mascot a DJing Kitten we are not sure, but we are sure that it is hilariously bad.

25. Baxter the Bobcat (Arizona)- Much like the "Swinging Friar" in San Diego, we aren't quite sure how the Diamondbacks chose a Bobcat as their mascot. Nevertheless, Baxter's habit of wearing a speedo in front of children scares us a little bit (or a lot.)

24. Sluggerrr (Kansas City)- At first glance Sluggerrr seems to be a pretty solid mascot. He has, however, been involved in more than one (very) inappropriate scandals (we won't share the details) his stock plummets big time.

23. Billy the Marlin (Miami)- Billy the Marlin has all the intangibles for being a good mascot; he relates to his team, is a memorable figure and even has his own kids club where children can interact with him during Marlins games. Only problem is, well, he is the Marlins mascot. Further hurting his reputation is the fact that he once knocked an old man unconscious (albeit accidentally) when he shot a t-shirt at the mans eye. Yikes.

22. Clark the Cub (Chicago)- The MLB's newest mascot, Clark is just a few days old at this point. Instead of spending money on new mascots, the Cubs might want to spend a little more money trying to rebuild their franchise. Clark's lack of pants also creeps us out a bit.

21. Orbit (Houston)- Don't get us wrong, Orbit is a really cool mascot. There is a direct correlation between his name and his teams and he is involved in lots of community service around the Houston Area. The Astros, however, stink, and getting kicked out of games (literally) for arguing balls and strikes isn't cool either.

20. Homer (Atlanta)- Homer is cool enough, but he doesn't bring anything special to the table. We do like his baseball head, however.

19. Paws (Detroit)- Paws is as promising of a mascot prospect as it gets. A few more years of development and he will become a true all-star.

18. Dinger (Colorado)- Why the Rockies chose a purple dinosaur as their mascot remains to be seen, but Dinger brings a lot to the table as a mascot; he is fun, loves bothering opposing players and has even started a fitness campaign for the children of Colorado.

17. Stomper (Oakland)- Why the Oakland Athletic's mascot is an elephant we are not sure, but we do
know that he is one of the best break-dancers around.

16. Slider (Cleveland)- While Slider's species remains a mystery, he loves to shoot hot dogs into the stands during games, which is good enough for us.

15. T.C. Bear (Minnesota)- T.C. Bear is a solid, middle of the pack mascot. He certainly isn't the cutest mascot out there, but he relates to his city and the fans like him.

14. Freebird (St. Louis)- Freebird is a giant Cardinal who loves talking pictures with people's heads in his giant beak. He also loves riding an ATV around Busch Stadium, which earns him his 14 spot.


13. Ace the Bluejay (Toronto)- Saying that Ace the Bluejay is the Bluejay's sole mascot wouldn't be telling the whole truth. Over the years they have introduced a wife for Ace (who mysteriously disappeared a few years later) and just last year, they introduced Jay (Ace's brother). Either way, the family is very cute and relates well to the team name.

12. Oriole Bird (Baltimore)- Oriole Bird is fun, relates to his team and the fans love him. What more could you ask for?

11. Southpaw (White Sox)- We aren't totally sure what Southpaw is, but he gained international fame when he was on President Obama's inauguration float.

10. Captain Jolly Roger (Pittsburgh)- We have officially reached the top 10. Captain Jolly Roger may not have the fame that some of the other mascots have, but he is a perfect mascot for the organization.

9. Rangers Captain (Texas)- One could argue that Rangers Captain relates better to his team name than any other mascot in the MLB, which makes him worthy of the 9 spot.

8. Mr. Red (Cincinatti)- Mr. Red not only is a great fit for the Reds, but his mustache would make even the manliest of men jealous.

7. Mariner Moose (Seattle)- Mariner Moose has one of the richest histories in mascot history, over the years he has 1. Broken his ankle during a mid-game stunt 2. Been nominated for Vice President (by Ken Griffey Junior nonetheless) and 3. Invented his own cheer for Mariners fans to shout during games. Pretty cool if you ask us.

6. Bernie Brewer/The Sausages (Milwaukee)- The Brewers front office makes up for their horrible team by giving the fans not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, but 6 different mascots. Sure, 5 of them may be sausages, but their tradition of racing around the stadium every game is a great one and a fan favorite for sure.

5. Lou Seal (San Fransisco)- Lou Seal might take the prize for coolest mascot in the MLB. He rocks a sweet pair of sunglasses and was even saved by Bat-Kid on one of the most heartwarming days you'll ever see.

4. Phillie Phanatic (Philadelphia)- Phillie Phanatic is one of the best mascots in the MLB, but a lack of correlation between his team name and his species prevents him from breaking the top 3.

3. Wally the Green Monster (Boston)- Named after the famous Green Monster in left field of Fenway Park (or was it the opposite way around?) Wally has certainly gained a huge reputation as a great mascot over the years.

2. Mr. and Mrs. Met (NYM)- Mr. and Mrs. Met might be the most famous of all the mascots in the
MLB, and deservedly so. They have been cheering on their team for nearly 50 years and are even members of the Mascot Hall of Fame (yes, that really exists.)

1. The Presidents (Washington)- In perhaps the most enjoyable mascot tradition in all of baseball, the Nationals Presidents (George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson and Teddy Roosevelt, with William Taft joining at times) run around the stadium in a giant race, with each president using whatever antics possible to win the race. A video of these antics can be found here.

1 comment:

  1. Absolute travesty that the Phillie Phanatic isn't number one... easily the funniest mascot and probably the most well renowned in all of sports; really dropping the ball on this one Driscoll.

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