Mr. Auto Draft - Fantasy football is all about dedication and the least you can do to display your dedication is show up to the draft. I don't want to hear excuses like "Oh, it's my anniversary," or "I have the SAT's tomorrow," because when you asked to be part of the league you signed your RSVP to the draft. I hope you got Jeremy Maclin in the fourth round...
That Guy That Never Sets His Lineup - I'm asking for you to check your team for ten minutes a week - that's all it takes - but you stubbornly refuse to comply. At some point it just becomes disrespectful; tighten up your tie, put your writing utensil of choice behind your ear, and show fantasy football the respect it deserves.
The Trade Spammer - No, I won't trade you A.J. Green for five different players you just picked up. If I had wanted them, I would have picked them up myself. The notification emails I constantly get from you are almost as annoying as the daily emails I get from drugstore.com because I bought my sister nail polish for her birthday. Stop it!
The Guy Who Only Knows Players From His Favorite Team - Bro, it's embarrassing... you just dropped Larry Fitzgerald so you could pick up Dexter McCluster. You tell me "McCluster has insane potential because he returns kicks and punts also." Are you sure you didn't pick him up just because you only know Chiefs players. I'm not mad at you, I just feel bad for you - you're making a fool of yourself.
The League Leader Who Doesn't Know Anything about Football - You drafted Knowshon Moreno in the third round because you loved the name "Knowshon." Now you're winning the league and you haven't checked since the draft. Last week you beat the second best team even though you had two players on a bye and started Reggie Wayne, who's been on the IR for the last three weeks. Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good... That being said, we all hate you.