Sunday, October 27, 2013

Top 10 Fantasy Football Team Names

In fantasy football, fielding a successful team is always difficult, however, what may be even more difficult is giving that team a name.  See, this name has to be clever, witty, concise, and punny; a group of characteristics that can be nearly impossible to accomplish.  Fear not, though, because here is a list of my top ten fantasy football team names that will make your friends question how such a boring guy like you could come up with such a hysterical team name.

10. Newton's Laws of Physics
No, not Isaac Newton, Cam Newton, who seems to play by his own theory of general relativity when scrambling outside of the pocket.  The 6'5" Panthers quarterback is nearly impossible to take down, and you could be too if you choose this as your team name.

9. Foster: Australian for Touchdown
Ripping off of the slogan for the Australian beer "Foster's," this name, though not the most original, will certainly earn you a couple of laughs.  Unfortunately, you may be wishing the name provided more truth, for Foster only has a measly one rushing touchdown on the year.

8. Rice Rice Baby
Alright stop, collaborate and listen,
Rice is back capturing the nation,
Something grabs ahold of him tightly,
Escape from defenders daily and nightly,
Will he ever stop? Yo - I don't know,
Fourth and 29, he won't slow,
To the extreme a defender he tramples,
Light up the field, the opposing team is dismantled.

7. Shake and Tate
When Ricky Bobby and Cal Naughton Jr. tore up the racetrack in "Talladega Nights," their catchy motto was "Shake and Bake."  When you tear up your fantasy league, you will also need a catchy team name, and what better than "Shake and Tate."  The only thing that would make this better is if Ben Tate (or Golden/Brandon) was a legitimate fantasy football option.

6. Fantasy Football is My Forte
Any team name that uses the "Forte" pun is a solid one, but this is my favorite.  Perhaps being the most practical of any on this list, it screams "I'm a fantasy football stud so get out of my way."

5. Too Legit to Britt
If Kenny Britt is on your fantasy team, you probably should quit fantasy football and pick up a different hobby.  However, I could not resist adding this awesome name to the list, as any team that is "Too Legit to Quit" deserves to be top of the league in my book.

4. My Vick in a Box
Does it have anything to do with football? No. Is it still a hilarious reference to the song by Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg? Yes.  Sometimes, you don't need a practical name, as long as it is as laugh-inducing as this one.

3. The Luckness Monsters
If you have Andrew Luck on your team, you're doing things right.  Having gotten off to a good start, Luck is certainly going to help your team gobble up the opposition, much like the Lockness Monster would (see what I did there).

2. RG-3PO
Whoever thought up this name is a genius.  This combination of Robert Griffin III's nickname, RG3, and the robot in Star Wars, C-P30, is almost too clever.  The only thing holding that is holding RG-3PO back is Robert Griffin's poor fantasy season so far.

1. Taste Dwayne Bowe
I could have gone with "Somewhere Over the Dwayne Bowe," but that's too mainstream, and this name is a rip off of the hilarious Skittles "Taste the Rainbow" add campaign.  Dwayne Bowe isn't exactly the type of player that you want to name your team after.  However, when you can tell your opposition to "Taste the Dwayne Bowe," it doesn't really matter how good the player actually is.

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